Nov 9, 2014

MIR 2014, Part 2

As I approached Chicago and saw the cities beautiful skyline, I finally knew my ideal was over. The festivities could begin. When I left the terminal, Sir was waiting for me. It was the most comforting thing I had seen in weeks. Our first stop was food. Having been stuck in an airport that was essentially closed all night, I hadn't eaten anything all night but the complimentary cookies I was given on my flight. Once we had a solid breakfast, we headed to our friends place to rest. Sir's flight from the previous night was also very delayed, so they got little sleep that night as well.

Upon arrival, Sir and I went down for a "nap" before getting a much needed shower and heading over to the Center on Halstead, where the event was being held. We all just went in cotton since my bags had not yet arrived on the flight that I was supposed to be on. After a quick tour of the market, we headed towards the airport to pickup my bag, hoping that it made it to its final destination. Luck was on my side when we saw it sitting with a grouping of other bags from my canceled flight.

Finally with rubber, we headed back to our friends place to get ready for the night. I had a brand new short suit, red and silver, that I was dying to get into. Eventually, it was getting late, so we headed back to the Center to join the action. By that time, the market was closed but the cocktail party had begun before the competition. After some socializing, we headed in to watch the competition. This was actually a first for me. This was my second MIR, and I had been to one MAL and three IML's, but I had never actually watched the competitions. I was pleasantly surprised. I won't lie, I fell asleep for a few minutes towards the end, but can you blame me? I had gotten about an hour of sleep during the previous 40 hours. It had nothing to do with the show.

After the contest, we headed down the street to Steamworks. I've known about this place for years, but had never been. In fact, I had never been to a bathhouse before. The experience certainly taught me a lot about myself and my interests in exhibitionism. I enjoy an exhibitionist streak. When in the mood, I can enjoy being watched by others. I learned very quickly that this only applies when I allow it. I found myself very uncomfortable when I discovered hidden eyes peaking at me and Sir through holes. On the whole, the experience was awesome, and I am looking forward to going back. I found it to be a fantastic place to both relax and... 'exercise'.

It was a very late night, but regardless of that, Sir and I were up and at it before we planned on being awake. After an amazing lunch, we headed back to our friends place to get rubbered up. This time, I was in my new catsuit. This was my first time in a rubber catsuit; something I had been looking forward to for years. I loved it! The feeling was incredible. We spent some time in the market before returning home to pack and rest a bit before or journeys home. Prior to heading to the airport, we spent an hour at a bar, enjoying a drink and each other's company.

Despite the rocky start, the trip ended up being incredible, although far too short. I can't wait for next year, where I will definitely plan for more time!

Nov 1, 2014

MIR 2014, Part 1

The weekend started terribly.

I flew up with connecting flights. Weather cropped up at my connecting airport, which led to about 30 minutes in a holding pattern. It was annoying, but I still had plenty of time before my next flight. After holding for that amount of time, our pilot announced that we had depleted our fuel reserves and that we had to land at an airport in a different state, 40 minutes away. When we landed, we were told that a fueling truck was on its way, and we just had to wait our turn, as there was one other plane that had arrived before us that required fuel as well.

Nearly an hour and a half painfully ticked by before the fuel trucks finally arrived. Fortunately, they sent a truck for each plane, rather than just one. During this time, I watched my next flights estimated departure pushed back, hoping that against all odds, it will be delayed long enough for me to get to the right airport and board with the other passengers. It's strange. This is the first time in my life that I've ever actually wanted my flight to be delayed.

Almost 3 hours after landing, we were finally back in the air. We landed in the time we were old it would take. Fortunately, my next flight was delayed just enough for me to make it. I rushed clear across the airport to make it to a different concourse. Out of breath, I made it to my gate before anyone had started boarding, only to hear an announcement that they were having personnel issues, and there may not be a crew available to work the flight. There was a possibility that it would be cancelled, leaving me stuck.

It was canceled.

The airline booked me on a set of connecting flights the following day that would put me in at 3 pm. That was NOT good enough. My weekend with Sir was already short as it was. I wasn't going to lose almost a full day on top of that. I had to bite the bullet and book a last minute flight with another airline that would get me in at 9am. So here I am... Spending the night on an airport bench with nothing but my phone, my tablet, and the shirt on my back. I've been awake for 21 hours and I doubt that I'll be getting any sleep until I'm boarded and in my seat.

Oct 4, 2014

A New Chapter

This past weekend was a big weekend for Sir and I. While we have settled into our roles when around only each other, this weekend presented the first opportunity to see how things worked while surrounded by a large group of kinky friends, many of whom we both wish to play with.

I've known for years now that I eventually wanted to have a Sir. Not a Sir who turns into your pal when the scene is over, but a Sir that I could be dedicated to and expect the same dedication to me in return. Knowing that I wanted this, I've questioned just how doable it is when I have the desire to have a diverse range of kinky experiences with an equally diverse group of kinksters. Between my kink life and my relationship with my Sir, I always felt that one would likely end up detracting from the other.

With the kink community and play being very important to both of us, we agreed that we must work out exactly what our limits are when it comes to playing with others. This is a subject that we have both put a lot of thought into. We agreed that while we both belong to each other, we both need the ability to play with others. In most instances, play is allowed with permission from the other. We have both agreed that permission will likely be granted in a majority of cases unless issues of safety, health, or threats to our relationship status are present.

With both of us being intelligent and responsible adults, issues of health and safety don't concern us as much as threats to our relationship status. Our biggest fears come in the form of jealousy. This weekend was an excellent test of our commitment to each other.

We aced it.

As it turns out, you can have your cake and eat it too. Sir and I have the utmost respect and love for each other. At the end of the day, we end up back in each others arms with huge smiles on our faces. What more could you ask for?

And so begins a new chapter in my kink life.

Sep 6, 2014

Sir in DC

Last weekend brought another trip to see Sir, but this time, it was in DC. I had only been to DC on one other occasion during MAL. Due to the nature of that event, I didn’t get much of a chance to explore the city and its many sights. I got to see a lot more this time around. Even without a huge interest in history or politics, the city really is an interesting place with a beautiful blend of traditional and modern themes.

Aside from the tourist attractions, Sir and I had an incredible weekend, where we worked to further refine the roles that define our relationship. I was also honored to help him break in a new cane and flogger that had not been used yet. Flogging is something that I have only done one a couple previous occasions, neither of which were in serious scenes or with Sir. Since it was the first time I’ve been flogged in a serious manner, it was a much different experience: One that I have a newfound interest in.

Aug 7, 2014

Think I'll Go to Boston...

Just over a year ago, I met 'Radioactiv' at IML. Since then, he has helped me explore new areas of kink and submission, and we quickly built a bond. Shortly after IML this year, a relatively normal online chat became something more: A commitment.

When playful subtext faded into serious conversation, something clicked. He became my Sir, and I his slave. I couldn't be more thrilled about it. While unexpected, this is a relationship that I've been curious about for years. There was no question about it during the moments of its beginning: I'm ready for this. I've been ready for this.

After lengthy conversations regarding our roles, what they meant, and what they afforded us, we decided to plan for me to visit him. That trip has come and unfortunately gone, but man, what a trip it was. For the first time in a long time, my submission meant something. It had a purpose.

It's indescribable.

The only way I can describe the weekend is “perfect”. While some times were painful, and others uncomfortable, they were to please Sir. I know I achieved that goal, so I couldn’t be happier.

Aug 4, 2014

Twin Cities Pride

I know it's a little late, but I've been busy since my trip to Minneapolis for Twin Cities Pride. Pride was fantastic, even if I did spend most of my play time in the Dom role. I don't Dom very often, so it was nice to scratch that itch, even if my itch to submit went largely un-scratched. It turns out that's ok, because only a few weeks later, I got to submit to someone very special for a entire weekend. More on that coming soon.

Of the two times that I did find myself bound, the first was on one of my favorite pieces of bondage furniture: the lacing table. In my past experiences, I haven't gotten my hands on very good shots of myself on the table, but this time, I have!

Only a couple hours before my flight, I was strapped tightly to a rack. This rack was suspended above the ground and able to rotate around a central axis. This allowed the guys in control to flip me upside down or make me face the floor or the sky. Being unable to move... While being moved, is quite the experience.

Jun 12, 2014


You may recall a post about a recent experience in which I allowed a Dom to push me beyond my limits. During that scene, I learned a lot about pain, submission, and my own interests and curiosities in each. The scene pushed me closer to my breaking point than I ever thought I would reach, but didn't push me beyond it. After I had time to process everything that happened, I came to the frightening conclusion that I would certainly find myself in the same emotionally compromising position again in my future. Knowing this, I convinced myself that I would not be ready to do it again only six months later.

But there I was. I found myself making plans to meet that same Dom again. A Dom who fills me with both joy and excitement, but also trepidation. When the time finally came, the mood was very lighthearted, but I was still very nervous about what was to come. I was tied just as I had been last time: a simple, but effective spread eagle. There was only one goal of the scene: to be taken to the ledge that I looked over last time, and then pushed over it.

The instant I felt the first blow, I almost believed that I had made a mistake. After several other hits from the riding crop, I began to remember just how taxing my first experience was. After only a couple minutes, I was asking myself what I was doing. Within 10 minutes, I was in deep subspace, a frame of mind that I reach on the rarest of occasions. The scene continued, even with the help of my own friends to hold my legs back and give access to harder to reach places. It was right after my legs were re-attached to the bed that I reached the same point that we ended on in my first experience: The edge.

This was the point where tears began to soak the same blindfold that was used to hide the coming blows the last time I experienced such physical pain. I continuously told myself that it was 'only pain'. Along with that, screaming and yelling profanities were the only coping mechanisms I had at my disposal. There was a row of clothespins running up each of my sides for a good while by that time and I was fully aware of the rope strung between each one. The time came for the "zipper" to be ripped off my body, and no more than a minute of the riding crop later, it happened: I broke.

My tears turned into sobs as I reached the point in which I could no longer cope with the pain. I couldn't take it anymore. No more than a minute later, the continued barrage of smacks mixed with the verbal comforting from my Dom led to something I would have never expected: I wanted to keep going. I needed to keep going. I couldn't take any more pain, but I wanted to do it for him more than I wanted the pain to stop. He asked if I was ok. He asked if I wanted to keep going. Each time, despite my emotional state, I swallowed and said, "Yes Sir". When I was released, I was a mess. My thighs and ass were destroyed. My face tingled from breathing so rapidly. My right leg tensed up and became nearly unusable because of the thrashing and pulling it had done. My hands shook as I held the glass of water the Dom had brought me.

After the scene was over, I was told that next time, we will go even further. The ideas of a 'next time' and going even further than we just had frightened me, but also intrigued me. What's beyond the emotional state I had just experienced? How far could I go before I absolutely have to end the scene? I learned a lot about myself, what I can take, and what true subspace is.

When I began to explore kink and the community of guys behind it, I thought the only new things to try were gear and toys. There's so much more to explore: submission, dedication to a Dom, emotional states, and likely categories I haven't even realized yet. It's quite clear that I still have a lot of exploring to do, but I'm so excited to see what I find.

Jun 4, 2014

IML 2014

Well another year has passed, and another IML has come and gone. For me, last year’s IML was great, but it was impacted by a number of personal conflicts. This year, however, was just an awesome time.

After landing on Thursday afternoon, I met up with a couple of my roommates and checked into the hotel. We didn’t waste much time. No more than an hour after checking in, we had a pair of boys tied side by side on the bed. I had been talking with one of these boys for well over a year, so it was great to finally meet. After a great dinner, we made our way back up to the room, where we spent some time relaxing and just doing a bit of light bondage. It was a fantastic way to unwind after a day of travel. Later in the evening, we spent some time down in the lobby, catching up with friends and enjoying each others company.

Friday started a bit lazily, but I enjoyed what we’ll call… ‘breakfast in bed’. After a real breakfast, the market was open. We took a good spin around both levels, before heading back up to the room. We invited a few friends up to join us. Before we knew it, our merry gang of five had turned into a social gathering of nearly twenty. Later that evening, I had a play date with a couple friends. I was tied along side my new buddy.

Saturday started with a solid breakfast and a stroll around the market. A bit later in the afternoon, we had another large gathering in our room. This time, there was a little more bondage involved. Several boys, including myself, were tied at any given time. Later in the evening, several of us had plans for what would be quite a sight. Over the past few years, I’ve seen my fair share of mummified guys and been in my fair share of mummifications. On saturday night, I helped to mummify five boys, before becoming the sixth myself, shortly before a seventh was added. By the time we were done, there were seven of us mummified across two hotel room beds. It was a thing of beauty… and oh so much fun! After some particularly crazy, and in some cases… childish, antics, we all eventually got ourselves free before heading back to the room.

Sunday started with a trip to the market. I finally got myself a new gag. A bit later in the day… It was time. In my recent post, “Beyond Limits”, I came closer to my breaking point than I ever thought I would. I discovered that regardless of the pain, I wanted to explore this aspect of submission further. After the scene that my post describes, I had a suspicion that I would find myself at the hands of that Dom again in the near future. I was right. A more detailed post about this experience is coming soon. After that scene, we spent some time relaxing in the room, while I recovered from my ordeal.

IML was over. On Monday morning, we all packed up our belongings before one last quick tour of the Market with suitcases in tow. After we were checked out and a few of the group had already left, a couple of us decided to get out and see a bit of the town. We grabbed what was the best coffee I’ve ever had, and headed to Boystown for a quick tour. I hadn’t been in that area since my first MIR, over two years ago, so it was exciting to see it again. After that, we headed over to the famed “Bean” for the obligatory Chicago selfie, before heading off to the airport.

This year’s IML was amazing. Unfortunately, I was not able to play with one of my favorite Doms, but I was able to help introduce a new friend, and reader of this blog, to IML and a broader kink community. That is, afterall, the purpose behind this blog.

May 5, 2014


We all know about limits. We list them on our profiles and reject those who don’t choose to abide by them. Of course, the function of these limits is generally thought to be safety. This is absolutely correct, and is certainly a great place to start. We set limits to protect ourselves; both from danger and actions that we simply just don’t want to do. They ensure that when we’re hanging, it’s over our safety net.

At first glance, it may seem like limits can be a restriction on a scene, but it’s possible to utilize them in order to push yourself. Your limits are your own, and if you're willing, you can use them as goals to reach. I feel my experience in the scene I wrote about in my “Beyond Limits” post is a good example to explain what I mean. This was a scene that pushed me far beyond the limits that I have had in place for every single other scene I’ve ever had in my life. The reason? I temporarily turned that limit off. Why? To explore something that I hadn’t experienced yet. The result? A new respect for those who find enjoyment in giving or receiving pain in a scene, as well as a budding interest in the idea in my own scenes.

This also illustrates that using your limits to set new limits can go beyond a single play session or scene. You can do this to obtain new goals in your kink life as a whole. My example for this takes me back to the kinky gathering I attended that opened the community to me. During that weekend, I was faced with two of my limits. Electro and sounding. Both scared me, and for good reason. The day before that trip, I would have told you that I was not willing to try either of these things any time soon. But when the moment came, I was overcome with such a 'When in Rome' state of mind that I just had to try them. Today, I enjoy both of these things and would miss out on them, had I not temporarily turned off my own limitations on them.

Of course, be safe out there. There is a difference between doing something you may not want to do and doing something that simply isn’t safe.

Apr 13, 2014

A Bit of Fun from the Top

A few days ago, I got the chance to play with an old friend of mine, along with a couple new friends that I hadn’t yet met, but had been trying to for quite some time. Due to a recent injury, I wasn’t well enough to endure potentially stressful bondage positions, so I brushed off my ‘Dom’ side for the evening. I’ve had very little play in the last several months, so jumping back into a kinky setting was a much needed stress reliever, even if I wasn’t being bound. As I entered, the gear was neatly spread about the living room, waiting for my own to be added.

We were planning on doing a mummification later in the evening, but discovered that we had plenty of duct tape, but not enough plastic wrap. After a quick trip up to the local home improvement store, we started with some rope. I tied one boy to a chair, while my friend tied the other to an opposing chair. As we both neared completion of our ties, the doorbell rang. This was rather unexpected by both of us, but it turned out to be yet another very cute guy joining our merry band for the evening. After some teasing, we untied the two bound boys and all had a quick drink.

Up next was the planned mummification. We started pretty normal with plastic wrap and traditional gray duct tape. I wanted to do the head in a different color, so we decided on a delightfully bright pink. I love encasement and objectification, and so does the boy we were mummifying, so we were sure to include an inflatable tube gag to ensure that no facial skin was exposed. Aside from our mummy’s locked dick, he was nothing but a duct tape object for us to play with. After we had a pink head, the rest of the mummy just looked too plain, so I added some quick and easy decoration with some bright stripes. It’s not an elaborate decoration, but I think it really helps with the overall ‘curb appeal’.

Feb 10, 2014

Beyond Limits

On my final day of MAL 2014, I did something a little out of character. To be honest, it was way out of character. I was bound in a pretty basic spread eagle. More than two hours later, I was released from the most painful kink experience of my life to date.

Back at IML 2013, I spent a fair amount of time teasing a new friend. Well, that new friend happens to be a Dom, and now it was time to see that side of him. When the scene began, I knew I was in for an intense ride, but I had no idea how far it would actually go. I was expecting some light pain and a lot of edging and teasing. Almost immediately after I was bound, I was dealt a series of blows from a riding crop. Normally, an excessive amount of pain is not my thing, but a small amount of pain is welcome in a scene. This time it was different. After the first few strikes, I began to realize that as much as I didn't want to continue to endure any pain, I needed to. But why?

Even during the scene, I began to wonder why I was punishing myself like this. Did some part of me feel that I deserved this? Until recently, I had experienced an abundance of emotional pain. Did I need physical pain to balance it out? It wasn’t until after the scene that I realized that neither of these were the case. In fact, writing this post is what pushed me to take a closer look at the scene. I spent a majority of my flight home thinking about the scene and why I pushed myself so far beyond my own limits. What I discovered is that my recent low had a great deal of influence on the matter.

If you know me personally, or read my blog, you’re probably aware that I recently spent several months in a lull. Emotional conflict drove me to reduce contact with friends, family, and everything kinky. As a result, I lost a great deal of self-confidence. Fortunately, a short conversation combined with MAL was the cure to pulling me out of my rut. Unknown to me at the time, there was still more work to be done before I could be myself again.

One of the things I enjoy about kink is taking a step out of my comfort zone. I find it quite thrilling to try something new, even if it scares me a little. This has been the driving force behind many new kink interests and enjoyments, such as electro, sounding, and watersports. While I was in my lull, I had no drive to try new things like this. Naturally, after the transition back to my old self began, I was eager to try something new and push a limit or two. I have found this to be a large part of why I readily accepted so much pain in this scene. While I was eager to step out of my comfort zone, my real motivator in this scene was to see what I could take before I broke. I wanted to, no... I needed to prove to myself that I was still capable of leaving my comfort zone: An action that I believe to be crucial in truly exploring kink.

So the scene continued. Impact after impact struck my body in various places. What felt like an hour into the scene, but was most likely 30 minutes, I began to fall into subspace. As much as I hate to say it, this is a rare occurrence for me. Regardless of the discomfort and pain I was experiencing, I became focused on taking it in order to please my Dom. I was later told that my screams could be heard down the hall. By the end of the scene, I was beginning to tear up into my blindfold. When the pain ended, I was comforted by my Dom, both physically and verbally. I didn’t quite reach my breaking point, but I regained my self-confidence.

Now it’s time to get back to exploring.

Jan 29, 2014

MAL 2014

After having to miss it last year, I was really excited to be able to make it to my first MAL this year. The weekend started rather late on Thursday evening, as we didn’t arrive at the host hotel until after 10 pm. While it was late, we got things going right away. After settling into the room, we went downstairs to have a drink in a somewhat busy lobby. Before leaving the room, my hands were quickly handcuffed behind my back. I remained that way for the entire duration of our time there, only being released after arriving back up to the room for the night. In only a couple of hours, I met several new people and enjoyed the company of several other old friends.

The next morning started with the usual healthy breakfast and a healthy walk. I’ve never been to DC before, so I was excited to see some of the monuments in the area. We also stopped by the Air and Space Museum. We grabbed a quick lunch before heading down to check out the market. I feel like I’ve seen just about every configuration of a leather market that there is to see now. At my first IML, the market consisted of one single room. My second IML had a market that was split between two floors. MAL had a market that is compartmentalized. The market spanned several conjoined rooms. A little later, I was fortunate enough to find myself tied to the bed with my arms spread and legs tied straight downward, keeping me in a ‘T’ position. This made it quick easy for a few friends to edge me for a while. Eventually, I was released… without release. After some dinner, we enjoyed an evening of mingling in gear down in the lobby.

Saturday started with a slow morning and breakfast. After lounging around the room for a short while and chatting, I was put into a neoprene sleepsack for round two of edging. This time, I was fortunate enough to have a kinder pair of hands take over at the end of the edging. After some time in the market and lobby, I had the opportunity to do something I haven’t done in quite some time: lose myself in some impressive rope work. It had been a while since I had been bound so completely with only rope, and it was fantastic.

Sunday, my final day, started off with a good breakfast. After some time in the market, I prepped myself for a play session with a young Dom that owed me a little revenge for some teasing at IML the previous year. I was expecting to be teased like I have never been before, but instead, I experienced one of the most intense bondage sessions of my life. This session had such an effect on me, that I feel I must write a separate post to cover the details. This post is coming shortly.

Jan 8, 2014

A Much Needed First

With 2013 in the past, it’s time to start fresh. For me, this means several things; one of which is bringing my kinky side back into the light. This includes a stronger focus on my kinky friends, kink events, and of course, this blog. Well, it just so happens that Mid-Atlantic Leather is coming up very soon, and I can't think of a better way to start the new year right.

I wasn't able to attend MAL last year, so this year will be my first time at this event. I'm hoping to make it an amazing one. This is sure to be a very much needed kink filled weekend. So, if you'll be at MAL, and you're a Dom looking for a sub, a sub looking for a buddy, a Top looking for a bottom, or even a bottom looking for a Top, shoot me a message! Never know what may happen. ;)

Jan 2, 2014


I'm sure it's been obvious through the lack of posts here: I haven't been myself lately. Life has been tough on me recently. Not since before I started this blog, have I felt so disconnected from my friends and kink. There have been a few times where I've been pushed to the edge, a couple of which the ground crumbled beneath me and sent me over. This post alone has taken me months to complete, bit by bit.

A while back, I lost one of the most important things in my life. It was hard at first, but it smoothed out. Then I was reacquainted with what I lost and began to feel the negative effects of not having it. After a couple months of this, and a rather dramatic weekend, I was informed that I'd never have it again. I was devastated. Nothing else has to be said regarding how I've felt, and how I still feel. The last several months have been among the most difficult of my life. I broke.

All of this happened while I worked to finish my education, moved back to my hometown, and began work at a new location that is several times more stressful than the previous one. It was about the same time that one of my best friends moved away.

All of that said, I have successfully graduated. A chapter of my life is over, and now, I just have to deal with that annoying blank page before the next chapter begins.

So there you have it. Aside from some key moments, 2013 was not good to me. I've tried my hardest to put on a pretty face, but my blog has suffered and I feel that I owe you all an explanation for that. It's a new year, and hopefully one with better prospects than the last. For me and for you. Thank you for your patience and Happy New Year!