Aug 2, 2018

What's Missing?

I’ve noticed, over the past year, a steady decline in my satisfaction with my own kink life. Slowly, I began to feel less and less fulfilled by my kink experiences. It all came crashing down on me on night one of this years IML. I had a sudden and unexpected anxiety attack that left me doubting myself for the rest of the event, and several days beyond.

During the slow road down, there were a couple of brief experiences that gave me a glimmer of what was causing my kink life to lag. The first, was a bondage experience in an isolation box. It was my first time ever really feeling ‘stored away’ in such isolation. I came out, after 3 hours, wanting more. Actually, I wanted so much more that the experience played games with my head for a week after. I might have been onto something.

Several months later, I requested and received another storage scene. This time, I was bound in a leather hogsack and stored away for hours. I wrote about this experience here on this blog. Again, the experience messed with my head for weeks. That nearly settled it for me.

I love bondage. I love being bound and edged, teased and tormented, used and stored. But until now, I didn’t realize just how big the word ‘stored’ was on my kink life word cloud. It seems it’s quite large. And somehow, I’m... just now... discovering this.

OK, cool! At least I have a diagnosis. Now what?

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