May 5, 2014


We all know about limits. We list them on our profiles and reject those who don’t choose to abide by them. Of course, the function of these limits is generally thought to be safety. This is absolutely correct, and is certainly a great place to start. We set limits to protect ourselves; both from danger and actions that we simply just don’t want to do. They ensure that when we’re hanging, it’s over our safety net.

At first glance, it may seem like limits can be a restriction on a scene, but it’s possible to utilize them in order to push yourself. Your limits are your own, and if you're willing, you can use them as goals to reach. I feel my experience in the scene I wrote about in my “Beyond Limits” post is a good example to explain what I mean. This was a scene that pushed me far beyond the limits that I have had in place for every single other scene I’ve ever had in my life. The reason? I temporarily turned that limit off. Why? To explore something that I hadn’t experienced yet. The result? A new respect for those who find enjoyment in giving or receiving pain in a scene, as well as a budding interest in the idea in my own scenes.

This also illustrates that using your limits to set new limits can go beyond a single play session or scene. You can do this to obtain new goals in your kink life as a whole. My example for this takes me back to the kinky gathering I attended that opened the community to me. During that weekend, I was faced with two of my limits. Electro and sounding. Both scared me, and for good reason. The day before that trip, I would have told you that I was not willing to try either of these things any time soon. But when the moment came, I was overcome with such a 'When in Rome' state of mind that I just had to try them. Today, I enjoy both of these things and would miss out on them, had I not temporarily turned off my own limitations on them.

Of course, be safe out there. There is a difference between doing something you may not want to do and doing something that simply isn’t safe.

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