Nov 1, 2013

Twin Cities AND Bust

This trip to Minneapolis was a little different than trips in the past. While I was really looking forward to my trip, travelling didn’t quite have the excitement that it once did. The magic of sneaking away from life had worn off, but the magic of the city and the friends that I have there will never die.

The first night included some interesting work at a friends place. We were tasked with a sequence of activities to finish off the work of softening and preparing new hemp rope for a future of binding subs. I learned a great deal about the preparation of quality rope and had no idea that so much went into its production. Friday had a slow start, but ultimately led to a short, but fun, group scene.


The next day started with a large group brunch at one of my favorite local restaurants. Afterwards, we headed straight across town to finally check out the new Twin Cities Leather & Latte. I was thrilled to finally check the place out and it lived up to all of my expectations. Afterwards, we headed to a friends place for an afternoon of play. At some point, I managed to convince myself that learning what a taser felt like was something that I wanted to do. After taking 5 or 6 quick hits on each calf and the bottom of each foot, I had the answer to my curiosities.

Unfortunately, the rest of that day was dissapointing and upsetting. Regardless of everything going on, I somehow managed to spend no time in bondage before a huge piece of my past caught up with me, which continued to mess with me for the rest of my trip and the days following it.

After a quick trip to the Saloon, we called it a night. We had a relatively early reservation for brunch the next morning. After brunch, a few of of decided the weather was nice enough to warrant a walk. About 4 miles later, we returned home and relaxed for a while before dinner. After dinner, we had some time to kill before another night out at the Saloon, so we all had a little fun. I was suspended face down for a very cruel teasing session. Large leather belts were used to support my weight, while rope held my wrists spread wide. The Saloon hosted it's normal Sunday night shower contest, which was just as exciting as ever, with two friends that had competed. The night ended on a high note before going to bed.


Monday was a slow day of relaxation before my flight out of town. While the weekend had it's ups and downs, I had the opportunity to turn IML acquaintances into friends, which I really see as one of the highlights of the weekend.

Oct 10, 2013

Twin Cities OR Bust

A few months back, my plans for a trip for a long overdue to Minneapolis fell through. I was really excited for the trip up there to see my friends, but for a couple of reasons, it didn't happen. Well, now I'm excited to say that it's time for a do-over! A week from now, I'm off to Minneapolis for an incredible kinky October weekend! I will certainly be writing a post on my trip after I return, but during the trip, it will be nice to give my twitter account the jump start it has needed lately.

Sep 29, 2013

Company

I'm writing this just after returning home from a very nice evening with friends. A kinkster from out of town was visiting an old friend of mine, and I was invited to tag along. Plenty of bondage fun was had. While I was not on the receiving end of any of that bondage, I was reminded how great it was just to be spending time around other kinky guys. I hadn't seen my friend in about three years, so it was really amazing to catch up and chat about all the fun we've had in the past. The out-of-towner was an awesome guy that I look forward to meeting again in the future. It just goes to show, it's not always about the bondage, the sex, or the kink. It's also about the company you keep and the memories that you make with them.

Sep 4, 2013

Open Mind

One of the new experiences I had at IML this year involved fisting. For the record: No, I was not the one being fisted. Before this experience, fisting was far from an interest of mine. Come to think of it, I can still say that fisting someone is not a kinky activity that I will seek out any time soon. I feel I should point out that this won't stop me from trying it again.

I was fortunate enough to experience my first fisting session with a friend who truly has a passion for it. He taught me that there is so much more than just 'getting off' involved. At any given moment, there is a connection between the two parties involved; a bond of trust. This connection can be any combination of physical, emotional, and/or spiritual in nature. Learning this has made me reevaluate my thoughts on fisting, as well as take a closer look at bondage and submission. While fisting is not a current interest of mine, I have to admit, I enjoyed this experience. Yes, I learned a bit about fisting. More importantly, I discovered something new about myself while strengthening a friendship. It’s not difficult to find enjoyment out of kinks that may not suit you. You just have to keep an open mind.

Aug 31, 2013

Missing

I'm sorry I haven't been able to post anything lately. In the past weeks, I have been going through a somewhat transitionary period in my life. I hate to say it, but this period hasn't been easy on me. As my final semester begins and things at work clearing up, I expect things to smooth out soon and remain that way for a few months at least. The future after that is rather unpredictable, but imagine there will be some very big changes coming my way within the next 6-10 months.

Even with my lack of new material, I have seen very little drop in the traffic here on this blog, which really thrills me. Thank you to all of my readers who have stuck around!

Jul 21, 2013

IML 2013: Sunday & Monday

Sunday started with some breakfast before sending more time in the market. I realized that I had somehow managed to not wear rubber up to that point of the weekend. Of course, I had to remedy this. As many walks around the market as we had during the weekend, it never got dull. There was always something new to discover.

Later that evening, I had plans to submit again to Fossil9 and his partner Toil. This session would be different from my others, as it would include a very good friend of mine. AlwaysRight would be submitting along with me. We met Fossil9 and Toil in the lobby before proceeding to their car. I'm not sure why, but Fossil9 had his extremely heavy steel collar in hand. I was asked to carry it back to the car. It's quite fun carrying such a serious piece of bondage gear through crowded city sidewalks. The session was absolutely incredible. I have never had such a connection with another sub in a scene. Beyond that, the session included a number of new experiences for me. I may write about this in more detail in the future.

After the session, we returned to socialize in the lobby. As the lobby slowly began to empty later that evening, I was approached by a friend who had previously asked me to do him a favor months prior. To be honest, the favor scared me. Even though it was approaching 3 am, we felt like there was no time like the present. It was time for me to have my first experience with fisting. I may write more about this in the future as well.

It was nearly 5 am when I enjoyed a hot shower with two other boys before going to bed. We snuck into bed and tried to get as much rest before a busy Monday. Being the last chance, the next morning started with a final lap around the market. It was good to see both old and new friends and have the opportunity to say goodbye. Not long after noon, we started our journey home.

This was only my second IML. It may have been at a smaller, less popular host hotel, but that made no difference to me. The amazing experiences with even more amazing friends are what make IML... well, IML.

Jul 4, 2013

One Month

As you probably know, I have recently been exploring chastity. With the acquisition of a new device, I am finally able to experience more... lengthy chastity. I have reached the one month mark. My previous chastity record has been broken, and so have I.

Being locked in chastity for a solid month has not quite been the experience I expected it to be. As can be expected, being locked for so long has certain effects on a person. There are periods of ease and periods of difficulty. Some days, I'm proud to be locked. I feel comfortable in my role as a sub who has given up control to their key holder. Other days, the effects of chastity lead to a slightly more vulnerable emotional state. Much to my surprise, simply being in an incredibly increased state of arousal was not the largest difficulty of being locked. I found that the biggest challenge was the change in routine.

Jun 24, 2013

IML 2013: Saturday

Saturday morning began with some breakfast and continued to the market. After a brief walk around the two levels, we returned to the room and enjoyed a little more bondage. After being put into a rope harness, my hands were bound to a banister above my head. Shortly after, a new friend joined me by my side in the same manner. I have to say, it really was quite something to be bound with another great guy while looking at the beautiful city of Chicago from the 45th floor of a building. After being teased and tormented for a short while like this, we had a third join us. The three of us were moved to chairs, arranged back to back, where the teasing continued. Shortly after that, I was allowed to get off for the first time in almost 9 days. Unfortunately, I don’t have pictures of this to share.

Later that evening, I had an appointment with the great YngMstrDetroit. The last time I was fortunate enough to play with him was a year earlier at IML 2012. Similar to that session, this one started with something conductive entering my ass. This year, YngMstrDetroit had a new toy to play with. A special treat. As many of you probably know, either by reputation or first hand experience, the venus milking machine can be very devious. Add some conductive rubber to the interior of the sleeve and you’re in for an interesting time. The pattern of an electro device can become somewhat predictable after a short while when it’s not set on random. Combine that pattern with the motion of the venus’ sleeve, and you get a truly random experience. And of course, there’s nothing wrong with being tightly spread eagled with your head encased in neoprene while all of this is happening!

Later that evening, while hanging out with some friends, I was convinced that it was finally time for me to be on the receiving end of a stream of urine. Having been curious about it for a little while now, but not able to draw up the courage to try it, I also thought there was no better time than the present to dive in. I owe it to my friend, AlwaysRight, for giving me the push that I needed to actually go through with it. That was the first time I’ve ever been on my knees in front of a toilet bowl and actually enjoyed myself. The rest of the night was reasonably uneventful. We spent time in the lobby socializing with great friends and enjoying ourselves.

Jun 14, 2013

IML 2013: 113 Returns to Fossil9

On Friday night, I was fortunate enough to once again take my role as 113. After arriving at Fossil9's place, along with his partner TOIL, we all enjoyed each others company and a drink. When the glasses were empty, I was told to go down the hall to the play room. There's never a visit to this play space that doesn't have me questioning what's happening. This night was no different. I was ordered to kneel before being blindfolded. Then I felt a collar wrapped around my neck. This was strange. 'Wrapped'? It was pretty tight, and had very little weight. This was something new. I continued to kneel for a few moments after the collar was applied before my question was answered. A sharp jolt tightened the muscles in the right side of my neck. I was wearing a shock collar. A wave of submission overcame me as I realized his power over me had just increased ten-fold. I loved that little device, but it wasn't long before it was removed.

I remained on my knees as Fossil9 opened the cage and ordered me to get in. As I headed toward the cage I thought it was strange that I was being ordered into bondage with every scrap of my clothing still on. This was another first for me in this room. The next order answered my curiosities. I was to remove my clothing while inside the cramped cage. Unknown to Fossil9 at the time, I was wearing my underarmour compression shorts, which were not a bad match for the underarmour shirt that he had already planned to have me wear.

Once appropriately dressed, I was ordered out of the cage and it into a bit of a predicament. A chain was wrapped around my neck and padlocked. This chain was connected to the ceiling. Standing flat footed, the chain was tight, but did not cut off circulation or breathing. A set of double rigid irons were used at my ankles to keep them apart, while my hands were cuffed behind my back. Once blindfolded, my sense of balance came mostly from my neck and how strong the chain was cutting into it. This let me with very little control over my situation. If I leaned too far in any direction, the chain would dig in deeper. I was forced to maintain as vertical a position as possible.


Later, I was moved against the wall and given my number. By this point, I was already so deep in the sub headspace that I had completely forgotten that "113" had not yet been written across my chest. When I first felt the sharp tip of the marker, I flinched thinking it was a device to tease me, such as a wartenberg wheel. It wasn't until I was ordered to hold still that I realized I was getting my label. I spent a little time getting teased and tormented while chained to the wall with a parachute hanging from my balls.


After this position, I was moved back into the cage for a new position. This one would be more torturous than the last. The cage I was in has a couple of devious stocks in order to hold a sub's head in place. One is located on the top of the cage. The other, where my head was placed, is on the side. Once the cold steel was locked around my neck, I found myself face up, using my elbows to keep my body level with the stock height. I was ordered to slide my legs through the bars on the opposite side of the cage. The parachute, still attached to me balls, was pulled up and away from my body. It was in the position that I got my first 'taste' of watersports. All it took was a simple command for me to open my mouth. Fossil9 will soon be posting a more detailed account of this position during this scene. In the end, I was taken back to the hotel without being allowed release. Better luck tomorrow?


Fossil9 has written his own account of this session that you can read here.

***It is important to note that I was never left alone while the chain was around my neck. My captors were extremely cautious regarding my safety in this matter. Do not attempt anything like this on your own.***

Jun 11, 2013

IML 2013: Friday

The next day was the official start of IML 2013. The market opened late in the morning, so we had some time to kill. It was a good opportunity to do what we did last year at the same time. The hotel isn't far from many of the famous sights in the city, so we went for a little walk. Well, maybe 'little' isn't the best word for it. By the time we returned, we had walked over 6 miles and saw several sights, including the ones below.



We arrived back at the hotel just in time for the opening of the leather market. We spent a good amount of time walking it and seeing everything it had to offer. It was also a great chance to enjoy the harness I had custom made by the talented guys at TCL. I was extremely excited as we approached the booth for "Bound & Gagged". Why? Because there, in the flesh, was the Bob Wingate! It was an absolute honor to meet him, but the fun didn't stop there. AlwaysRight got the pleasure of being bound at the booth for a few minutes. He was tied tightly to a chair before four of us all chipped in to help lift him above our shoulders and walk him a few yards around the market.

Later that evening, I had a session planned with one of my favorite Doms, Fossil9, which I will describe in detail in another post soon.

Jun 7, 2013

A Deeper Look at Chastity

For a little while now, I’ve had my mind on chastity again. My interest in chastity has never waned, but my involvement in it has. I find that there are several reasons for this. For starters, the comfort levels have never been quite where I wanted them to be. I’m sure a number of you are reading this and thinking, “Comfort? Your comfort doesn’t matter!”. Well that’s not entirely true. If you want to be able to ‘live’ in chastity, there needs to be a certain level of comfort. When it comes to a chastity device, there are many things that can affect how comfortable it is. Is the tube or “cage” the right size? Is the ring the right size? How easy is it to urinate in it? Is it too heavy, causing it to pull down? How regularly does it have to be adjusted? And so on...

This is the largest reason I have distanced myself from wearing a chastity device in recent months. The devices I own are both metal. One is heavy enough to almost slip right off in the shower, the other is open enough to make pulling out, getting off, and sliding back in as easy as it was to type this sentence. During these last few months, I’ve let thoughts of purchasing a plastic device cross my mind on more than one occasion. The problem was that I didn’t care for the popular “cb” range of devices. I was also well aware that it is extremely easy for me to slide right out of any of the silicone devices. Fortunately for me, there was a new device on the market, with a somewhat different spin on the ‘ball-trap’ style design. I decided to take the plunge and try this new device, called the “Holy Trainer” (Yea, not crazy about the name).

It arrived just before I had to leave for work the other day, so I had to wait until I got home to try it out. I had heard so many great things about how comfortable it was, so I figured the best test was to stay locked overnight to see how it went. I was quite pleased the next morning after having the most comfortable night in chastity that I had ever had. The next day, I tested the device further by wearing it to work. It cause no problems or discomfort throughout the entire shift. After hearing all of the wonderful things I had to say about this new device, the boy that I am currently key-holding for online decided he wanted a piece of the action. Over the course of just hours, suggestions from him to push my endurance evolved into full control. I still haven’t removed the cage since I first put it on. We’ve come to an agreement. Aside from bondage play and trips, I am to remain locked at all times. This is going to prove to be a very interesting journey for me.

As you may already know, my longest lock up was 13 days. While going so long without access to my own dick was torturous, I wanted to push myself to see if I could take it. I find the same thing is happening to me now. I’m curious about how long I can live in a chastity device. By this, I don’t mean a solid lock up. Long term constant lock-ups have never really interested me personally. Being locked long term, with occasional release at the discretion of my keyholder is a different story though. Giving up so much control without being bound is quite an experience for a sub. When the boy I had locked started giving me orders, I wasn’t really sure what to think. I hadn’t seen this Dominant side of him before. Then the orders got more stern and they took hold of my submissive side. Eventually, I found myself agreeing to give him control of my cage and the dick inside of it for the immediate future. I’m still nervous about all of this, but I’m also very excited to see where it goes.

More on my time at IML coming soon!

Jun 4, 2013

IML 2013: Thursday

What an amazing weekend! I'm sad to say that it's over. While this year's IML was different in every way from last year's, it was every bit as exciting! I can't wait to get my accounts of the weekend posted here, but until then, here is day 1, Thursday:

I arrived Thursday afternoon, prior to many of my friends. Aside from some annoyances with the cta ticket machines, traveling went relatively smoothly. Several of my friends had arrived days before to get set up for the busy weekend in the market, so I didn't see much of them that evening as they still had a lot to do. I was very happy to be invited to join YngMstrDetroit and his crew for dinner. I spent very little time with this group last year, so it was great to get to know them all better over a nice meal. By the time we got back to the hotel, a few of my closest friends were just about to arrive. I met up with a new friend just before to show him to our room. Once my friends arrived and got settled, we all went out to a little Irish restaurant that we frequented during last year's event. By that time, it was rather late so it felt like we were the only ones in the place. We enjoyed drinks and each other's company while catching up. The next day would be the start to a very interesting weekend, full of activities that I wouldn't have even guessed I would do...

May 22, 2013

Time For My 2nd

Well it's time for IML 2013! You won't see anything from me here until I get back, but this will be my first IML with twitter, so I'm sure I'll be posting more frequently than usual over there.

To those of you who will be there, be safe! I'll see you all soon!

May 9, 2013

50 Weeks

50 weeks. That's how long it's been since I embarked on my first trip to Chicago for the famed International Mr. Leather event. Today marks the beginning of a two week countdown to this years event. To say that IML 2012 was one of the best weekends of my life would be somewhat of an understatement, so I'm sure you can imagine that... I'M SO EXCITED!!!! Even though I only know one IML event, this years event will be very different, but I'm still looking forward to seeing all of my friends and making new ones.

In other news, I know I've been rather quiet, both on here and on twitter lately. The weeks between my New Olreans trip and now have been quite hectic and chaotic for me. This should begin to calm down now, so I'm hoping to get to posting more soon. On top of that, I'm sure IML will bring plenty of fun experiences to write about. If you have never attending IML before and you're not attending this year, I encourage you to start making plans for next year. If you are, I'm sure you're as excited as I am!

Apr 23, 2013

Watermarks

If you follow my blog or check-in on my other Internet real estates, you probably know that I watermark all of my images. The obvious reason is to discourage copyright infringement. I work in a place where copyright is a very important topic, so it makes sense that I would take at least basic steps towards preventing unauthorized sharing. That said, this isn't the reason I watermark the pictures on my profiles.

The fact of the matter is, I don't really mind if my pictures are shared. There is absolutely no getting around sharing when you post something on the Internet. The problem comes when someone decides they want to use your pictures as their own. I watermark my pictures to prevent what could be called "kink identity theft". I began watermarking my pictures the day I discovered another kinkster using my pictures on his profile, claiming they are of him, pairing them with overly raunchy and degrading profile text.

Kinky profiles, like 'Recon' or 'GearFetish', are a kinksters "resume". They are the first glimpse at a kinkster and his interests. I'm sure I don't have to remind you all how many words a picture is worth. These profiles are an extension of the kinkster they belong to. This is the real reason I watermark my pictures. It's a little extra work, but if you don't do this, I recommend you start.

Apr 15, 2013

A Little Fun in the Sun

There’s really nothing more relaxing than some quality down time in bondage, is there? A few days ago, I was fortunate enough to have a couple days of play with my good friend Flyboyfl.

The first bondage position I got into was like a blast from the past. I was hogtied with rope, fully clothed. While in such a simple, G-Rated tie, I looked down at the pile of leather bondage gear, and got a glimpse of how things have changed since then. It was quite an interesting experience. Then I was muzzled and the bondage became considerably less G-rated.


Shortly after, I decided that rope was in style for the day, and used it to securely hogtie my friend. The next day, we met an up-and-coming kinkster and gave him his first introduction to bondage. It’s always fun ‘showing someone the ropes’ and helping them join the community. I’m sure you all remember the feeling when you first saw bondage gear in person, rather than in a picture or video. That feeling is unforgettable, just like the expression on a new kinksters face when they experience it. :)

After what felt like a long morning, I decided a little rest and relaxation was in order. Just like last time, out came the straight jacket. I was told to put on the prison uniform again before I was strapped in. This time, a little extra was added. The canvas hood, made specifically for that straight jacket, was laced on and I was strapped down to the bed.



I imagine I slept for about an hour. When I woke up, I was being unintentionally teased by being made to listen to the sounds of another bondage scene happening across the room. I had to wait another hour before it was my turn...

Apr 2, 2013

New Orleans

At about 6:30 Thursday morning, I hit the road for New Orleans. This trip had one main goal: surprise. Months ago, Mr. Leather Colorado's partner began planning this surprise birthday party for him. We all made our way to New Orleans, got a birthday cake, snuck in when he was napping, and watched as he tried to say anything other than how surprised he was. Months of planning and straining to keep it a secret and success! But the real surprise was on us.

Moments after our 'hello's and 'how-are-you's, we were all thrown for a loop when our surprisee became the surpriser. We all stood and watched in speechless excitement as he got down on one knee, expressed his love for his partner, and proposed.

Crap... We got the wrong cake!

After that, we all proceeded to check out the city. Our first stop that night was a local bar, where we all enjoyed the evening out in gear, myself in my new harness. After making our appearance there, we ran back home and changed to go check out the scene on Bourbon Street. We spent the rest of the evening enjoying the bar and each others company. Hanging out on a balcony of a gay bar on the Bourbon Street of New Orleans with a group of awesome kinky guys felt like a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but I really hope I get to do it again. The next day started with a more detailed exploration of the French Quarter. After lunch, I may or may not have been hogtied, gagged, and plugged. ;)

Later that evening, we all went out for a big celebratory dinner with the group as well as a couple new friends before returning to Bourbon Street to get another taste of the local night life. The next day brought a bit more relaxation as well as another new friend. While watching this sweet guy get tied up, I got to play around with a little rope myself. We finished off the day inside, playing games and chatting partially thanks to a little poor weather, and I got to spend a little more one-on-one time with that sweet guy I mentioned earlier. :)

New Orleans is a city with a very rich culture and history that on its own is spectacular. Combined with an amazing group of guys, new friends, a little bondage, and most importantly - the power of love, the weekend was truly incredible! I can't wait to visit this city again! Hopefully I'll have some pictures coming for you soon. Finally, I want to send out huge thanks to the guys who were there and helped make the trip amazing. Of course, I also want to send out my biggest congratulations to the newly engaged couple. I'm so excited for you guys!


Mar 29, 2013

Surprise!

It's been sooo difficult keeping it under wraps until now, but the surprise has been sprung and it's time for the big reveal!

I'm in New Orleans!

That's right, I'm in New Orleans for a surprise kinky birthday party! I'm here for the entire weekend and looking forward to some amazing times. This has been in the works for months and it's been so hard not sharing it with you guys, but now I can! I'll post something here once the weekend is over, but for more frequent updates, I'll be using twitter. Hope this at least helps to make up for my lack of posts here recently.

Mar 14, 2013

I'm Alive!

I promise, I am... I had a busy week followed by a rough week, and now I have a bit more time to myself. I know it's been over two weeks since my last post, but I have several posts in the works that are on their way. Even though I have several post topics that I'm working on, I'm always looking for more ideas, so if you have anything you'd like to see or read about here, please let me know! There's no shortage of ways to contact me: Recon, GearFetish, Twitter, Fetlife, comments here, etc.

Feb 28, 2013

Power

We all have different interests and come from different walks of life, but we can all agree on at least one thing: In a Dom/sub dynamic, the Dom has all of the power and the sub has none. Wrong.

It's true, in a Dom/sub relationship, the Dom gives the orders and the sub does as he is told (assuming he's obedient). In many cases, these orders or commands may include actions that the sub may not want, such as a situation I described in my post, 'Displeasure = Pleasure'. Even when these actions may cause hesitation or displeasure for the sub, they are still actions that the sub allows, and sometimes enjoys.

How can actions that cause a Dom or sub displeasure be an accepted norm in a scene? Why would anyone want to do anything that they... well... wouldn't want to do? The control of a scene begins long before the scene does. In any healthy Dom/sub relationship, both parties agree to limits. Primarily, these limits are designed for safety, but they have an underlying purpose. Carefully thought-out limits can be the key to a truly enjoyable scene, but they are also what gives a sub more power than he realizes. It's the fact that the sub submits that gives him the amount of power that he has. Any actions of control, pleasure, or discipline are directed at the sub. Because of this, it's the responsibility of the sub to decide what is not enough, just right, or too much. I agree with Fossil9 on the matter that the direction in which a scene goes is shared equally between all parties. It's completely natural for a sub to take action (or refuse to take action) in order to elicit a specific response from the Dom. The same goes for the Dom, who may utilize specific orders to read the sub in order to get a better feel for the him. Limits are only a small, but important, part of the equation for the perfect scene.

This paints a picture that gives the Dom and the sub equal control in a scene, but this isn't entirely true. In reality, the balance of power tilts in the Sub's favor. In our minds, that balance of power favors the Dom, but for only one reason: It's exactly what everyone involved wants. The sub wants to offer their power to the Dom, who is happy to accept it. Submission is not passive as one may think. It involves taking action to ensure your safety, to enjoy your time, and most importantly, to put your trust in another person's hands.

Feb 19, 2013

Mr. Twin Cities Leather Weekend!

It's been another amazing trip to the beautiful city of Minneapolis. Every time I find myself in Minneapolis, there's something new I've learned and a new friend or two I've made. In those respects, this trip was no different from the ones in the past, but other aspects of this trip made it quite different from the other times that I've traveled to Minneapolis.

For starters, I found myself restrained only once this weekend, by my very good friend, AlwaysRight. More on that soon. This was also my first small (city based) kink contest: Mr. Twin Cities Leather. The event was hosted in part by 'Twin Cities Leather', a new leather and kink store in the area. I know the guys who started and operate TCL and let me tell you, they're doing some truly amazing things. Not only are they strengthening the leather community, giving back to the city, and raising awareness of kink and fetish across the country with their connection to Tynan and his speaking business, but they are crafting some beautiful leather pieces. One of those pieces is the custom made leather bulldog harness that they whipped up for me, which you can see here:


For the record, I LOVE my new harness! The leather is soft and comfortable. Being custom made, it fits me perfectly. It’s exactly what I have been hoping for these last few weeks. The color choice of grey signifies an interest in bondage.

The biggest reason I went to Minneapolis was to have some quality time with someone I can only describe as my best and closest friend, AlwaysRight. Aside from our times restrained by one another, we had a lot of time to enjoy each others company as well as a perfect evening at the Mall of America, walking and talking. On the second morning of my trip, I had a bit of a rare Dom streak in me, which led to a tight spread-eagle and an intense edging session for AlwaysRight. On the last morning of my trip, my sub side returned and revenge was taken on me. After being roped and teased, I was stored in the closet until it was time for an edging that would have me light-headed from breathing so hard. It was, without a doubt, one of the most intense edging scenes I have ever experienced and one of the few times I have been so close to actually begging to cum.

To finish off, I'd like to send out a huge thanks to everyone who made that weekend as great as it was! To the guys at TCL, thanks for your hard work and dedication! Finally, to a select few, thanks for taking such great care of me! As always: I love you guys!

Jan 25, 2013

Going "Home"

My readers can probably understand that I almost feel at home in Minneapolis, with the 99% of my life that I spend down here in Tampa as nothing more than a series of extended business trips. That said, it's time for me to go 'home'. It's felt like a long absence from my good friends, even though it's only been a few months. I'm happy to say that I can finally get up there and see them. I'll be attending the Mr. Twin Cities Leather event in February, and I couldn't be more excited about it! This will be my first trip back to Minneapolis since Twin Cities Leather, a new leather/kink shop started by a number of friends, took off. I'm really excited to see what it has become and see first hand the amazing things that TCL will bring to the community, on both local and national levels. Only a 19 day wait between me and wheels up :)

Jan 20, 2013

First Contact

Our kinky community is quite a tight knit group, considering the vast distances that separate most of us from each other. I suppose this doesn't come as much of a surprise with our access to major social networks like Facebook and Twitter, as well as kink based networks like Recon, GearFetish, and FetLife. This online presence is great and offers many benefits, but it creates its own unique problems as well. One of these problems comes as the first contact between two users.

I feel that this issue encompasses a couple of smaller issues. The first, and probably more obvious, is respect. As a sub, I have received a number of messages that I felt were disrespectful. Like most, I don't take too kindly to name calling. In the past, I have received messages from strangers calling me names like 'cock slut', 'whore', 'fucker', 'faggot', 'boy', and 'slave'. I know, 'boy' and 'slave' aren't really all that bad, but they fall under a different category for me, which I will discuss shortly. The problem I have with name calling when first contacting a sub is less about the names and more about the poor etiquette. I understand that for some, a dirtier, raunchier, more verbally abusive relationship is what turns them on. This is not necessarily my thing, but I respect it and those who are attracted to that form of play. What upsets me is that some guys who enjoy this type of interaction sometimes end up forcing it on those who may not. Before messaging someone in such a manner, make sure that it's something they would enjoy first. Otherwise, it may be offensive to those who don't embrace such a role.

Now, back to the matter of the titles 'boy' and 'slave'. I personally believe that certain titles are earned. Just as it may be improper to call a stranger by their nickname rather than their real name, I feel it's the same when directly addressing a sub with a title such as 'boy' or 'slave'. While I love being called 'boy' by a Dom and even kinky friends, I don't necessarily enjoy it when it's done by someone I do not know. I feel differently about indirectly calling a sub "a boy" or "a slave", therefore I'm comfortable with it.

The second issue that arises with an initial online contact is less obvious, but somewhat annoying to many. Here's the issue from my perspective as a sub.  We've all seen it on people's profiles before: "If you contact me, say something meaningful... Don't just say 'hi' ". In my experience, while still little compared to many, I have noticed that conversations starting with a single word such as 'hey' usually end up going nowhere. Just like a good story, a first message needs a hook. 'Hi' is boring. Get the sub's attention. Before you message him, do your homework. Are you two compatible? Do your interests mesh? Are you only interested in chatting, or do you want to eventually meet? What do you hope to get out of talking or meeting with the sub?

A sub's role is to give up control to the Dom. This only works successfully when the sub trusts the Dom. Trust is one of the most important factors in a Dom/sub relationship, therefore gaining a subs trust should never be rushed. A sub feeds off of the Doms energy, just as the Dom feeds off of the subs energy, so compatibility is key. When the Dom respects the sub, the sub will respect the Dom. In the end, we're all people in our respective roles. To see Fossil9's perspective as a Dom, click here.

Jan 17, 2013

Florida Boys at it Again!

Those of you who follow me on twitter already know that I recently got to spend some time with my good friend Flyboyfl. It was the first time we had seen each other since our trip to Minneapolis for Pride Weekend. It was great to see him again and catch up, as well as squeeze a little play time in.

I was really happy to finally get mummified again, as it had been months since I was last encased in glorious duct tape. I don't have pictures to share of myself mummified, but I do have some of the mummification I put Flyboyfl in. After he was secured, I had a little fun decorating him before I teased him :)


In the middle of the next day, we both found ourselves exhausted. While laying on the couch, resting my eyes, I was offered the suggestion of taking a nap in gear. How could I say no to that? I was told to put on an orange canvas prison outfit before being told to hold my arms out in front of me. After I was well secured in the straight jacket, I was strapped down to the bed with locking humane restraint straps. A darlex hood was pulled over my head and zipped up. I heard the door close. Nap time :)


Jan 15, 2013

Growing in Kink's First Birthday!

Today, I'm celebrating one year of this blog. While the exact day I started writing last year is a mystery to me, due to me switch from Wordpress to Blogger over the summer, I estimate that it was around the middle of January. Because of that, I'm declaring today, January 15th, the official birthday of 'Growing in Kink'!

When I started this blog a year ago, my goal was to post an average of one post per week. Now that the first anniversary has arrived, I have well over 70 posts. This surpasses my goal, which really pleases me. I'm also happy that I have managed to stay true to my plans of keeping this blog about my experience, my thoughts, and my advice about growing into the kinky community and lifestyle, rather than pointless rambles or endless picture reposts.

I'd like to shout out a big thanks to my readers and followers who have given me great feedback which has been helpful encouragement to keep going. When I started this blog, I honestly had no idea how long it would last. Now that I've reached the one year mark, I don't see any end in sight!

Jan 14, 2013

DO IT

This past weekend was MAL. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend. This made for a somewhat rough weekend for me. I tried my best to busy myself and otherwise keep my mind occupied, but it always managed to wander back to what I was missing.

Once upon a time, when I embraced my kinks but hadn't yet explored the community, I thought little of the big kink events. I thought to myself, 'Yea, IML would cool to check out one year... See what it's all about', but that was it. While events like IML, MIR, and MAL seemed interesting, I never really had the desire to attend them. Well, that all changed after I attended my first event, IML, in 2012. I discovered that these events are about far more than just getting together to play around and enjoy bondage and other various kinks and fetishes. I've learned that it's the invisible bonds that you create that are far more important than the leather, latex, or steel bonds. That's why it was so hard to miss MAL.

So to end this short post, I leave those of you who see these events as I once did with this piece of advice. DO IT! Don't sit there thinking, 'Maybe next year' or 'eh, it's not worth the effort'. Get out there and take part in this amazing community and don't make excuses like I did for several years. If you've never been, you have no idea what you're missing.

Jan 3, 2013

Displeasure = Pleasure

Tynan approached me with a question regarding something I had told him on our recent trip to Chicago for MIR. He asked that I write a blog post about the subject, so here is the result:

In my hands was a steel dog bowl. As I stood against the wall, I blindly filled the bowl with my own urine. I was doing as I was told. While I’ve been curious about watersports for a short while, I’ve never quite had the guts to try it. While I enjoyed watching it in videos or seeing pictures of the dirty deed, the idea of myself taking part in the act still disgusted me. But there I was. A bowl of my own urine in hand, and I wanted to be forced to drink it. But why?

The answer is simple, but the idea is more complicated: Control. Well, lack of control. We’ve all heard the old expression, “It’s not bondage until you want out”. It’s a little like that. Deep down, I think I wanted to be forced to do something that I didn’t want to do, feeling that it would secure the state of my submission or reinforce my role. For the record, I do not mean to make it seem as though Fossil9 was not doing a fantastic job. Actually it’s the exact opposite. Some of my most submissive moments have been under his command. It’s that extremely submissive state that makes me crave more. I want my limits pushed and I want to do just about anything that the Dom commands, for the sole reason of pleasing him. Even if it’s an act that doesn’t please me at all. That is the very essence of submission, is it not?

This is a state of submission that I reach rarely, and only with Dom’s that I truly mesh with and trust with my life. ‘Chemistry’ is an extremely important part of the Dom/sub dynamic.

You can read a brief description about the rest of the scene here, as well as Fossil9’s description of the predicament he put me in here.